Letting Go of the Safety Net

“Sometimes it’s necessary to go a long way out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.” – Edward Albee The Zoo Story

We’re moving.

To Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Or thereabouts.

In June. Or thereabouts.

I really should start looking for a job.

And we really should start packing.

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For as long as I can remember I have always enjoyed entertaining people. I had magic kits, performed in church plays, and was an all around class clown for much of my academic career. There was never really any other thoughts about what I was going to do with my life. I was going to be an actor. And the dream, from a very early age, was to be on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. (Does that date me?)

I got a little sidetracked along the way and ended up doing theater in Chicago for a decade, which I still miss (the city and the ten years), but I eventually made my way to Hollywood. Though by the time I got here Johnny had passed away, I was more focused on writing than acting, which lead me into making Reality TV, and then my wife and I realized we weren’t getting any younger and if we wanted a family we needed to get started.

It’s the family part that’s really the key to the whole story. Because we love it here, and if we were young 20/30-somethings with no kids, well, I would be telling you stories about the most amazing avocado toast I’d just eaten or my comfy, bespoke hemp boxer-briefs or spending a week in the desert finding my chi.

But we have kids. And kids change everything.

While there is definitely a part of me that’s mourning the decision to leave this city, and all the dreams I pinned on it as a younger man (not to mention all the friends we’ve made), there is also a part of me that’s excited for this new adventure back to a place I once called home. To see my kids playing with their cousins, and getting to spend time with their Grandparents, is a really big part of why we’re moving.

But if I stop too long to think about it it’s easy to get paralyzed with overwhelm and fear. Taking our fledgling family out of the only nest they’ve ever known and setting sail on an uncharted course to the other side of the continent, with no idea where we’ll end up, doesn’t seem all that wise on paper. But I’m comforted with the knowledge that we’ll be moving closer to people who can help and support us. And I’m sure we’ll discover even more folks like that along the way.

Who knows, maybe this will end up being the kind of story someone wants to make a movie about. And they’ll pay me to write it. And we’ll all get invited back to watch the premiere.

A boy can dream.

Until then I need to update my resume and start collecting boxes. If you have tips for either one I’m all ears.